You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind

There can be an enormous amount of pressure attached to making a decision, particularly when that decision relates to education, university or your career. We are often encouraged to think carefully about what we want, weigh up our options and make the best decision we can with the information available to us, which is sensible advice. But somewhere along the way, it can begin to feel as though once we have made that decision, we are supposed to stick with it.

You chose the course, so surely you should finish it.

You worked hard to get the job, so surely you should be grateful to have it.

You told everyone this was what you wanted, so surely changing your mind means admitting that you were wrong.

But changing your mind does not necessarily mean that you made a bad decision in the first place, sometimes it simply means that you know something now that you didn't know then.

We Make Decisions With the Information We Have at the Time

Looking back at a previous decision with everything you know today can make it very easy to question why you ever made it. But the person making that decision didn't have today's information.

Perhaps you chose a university course because you genuinely enjoyed the subject at school, only to discover that studying it at degree level felt very different. Perhaps you accepted a job because it seemed like exactly the opportunity you wanted, but the reality of the role taught you something important about the type of work or environment that suits you. Perhaps you spent years working towards a particular career before realising that the life attached to it no longer appeals to you.

None of those things automatically mean you made the wrong choice. You made a decision based on what you knew about the opportunity and, importantly, what you knew about yourself at that point in your life.

New experiences give us new information, and we are allowed to use it.

Changing Your Mind Is Not the Same as Giving Up

There is often a negative association with walking away from something we once wanted.

We worry that we haven't tried hard enough, that we lack resilience, or that changing direction somehow proves we weren't capable of succeeding.

Of course, there will be times when something feels difficult simply because it is difficult, and immediately abandoning every situation that makes us uncomfortable is unlikely to help us grow. Learning when to persevere and when to change direction is rarely straightforward. But perseverance is not the same as staying somewhere indefinitely simply because leaving feels like failure.

Sometimes resilience means continuing.

Sometimes it means recognising that something isn't working, understanding why, and having the courage to choose differently.

The important question is not always “Can I keep going?” Sometimes it is “Do I still want to?”

The Time You've Already Invested Is Not Wasted

One of the hardest things about changing direction is looking at everything you have already put into the path you are considering leaving. The years of study. The qualifications. The training. The experience. The effort it took to get there.

It is understandable to think, “I can't change now - I've already invested too much.” But very little of what you have learned disappears simply because you decide to use it differently.

You carry knowledge, skills, relationships, experiences and a much better understanding of yourself into whatever comes next. Sometimes the thing you gain from a particular path is not the career you expected at the end of it, but the collection of experiences that eventually helps you recognise what you want instead.

A change of direction doesn't erase everything that came before it, it builds upon it.

Other People May Need Time to Catch Up

Changing your own mind can be difficult enough without worrying about what everybody else will think. Perhaps your family has spent years telling people what you're going to become. Perhaps your friends associate you strongly with a particular subject or profession. Perhaps colleagues see you progressing along a clear career path and cannot understand why you would consider stepping away from it.

Their surprise doesn't necessarily mean your decision is wrong. The people around us often hold an image of who we are based on the version of us they know, and when we begin to change, it can take them a little while to adjust to the new picture.

You can listen to their concerns. You can consider perspectives you may have overlooked. You can take advice from people whose judgement you trust. But you do not have to continue living a life that no longer feels right simply because it makes more sense to somebody else.

You Don't Need to Know Exactly What Comes Next

Sometimes we stay with a decision because the alternative feels too uncertain. It can feel much safer to remain on a familiar path, even when we know it isn't quite right, than to step away without knowing exactly where the next one leads.

But changing your mind doesn't always require an immediate replacement plan. You might simply know that you want to explore other possibilities. You might need time to understand what hasn't been working before deciding what would work better. You might experiment with something small (a course, conversation, volunteering opportunity, side project or different type of work) before making a larger change.

You don't have to replace one perfectly mapped-out five-year plan with another. Sometimes your next decision can simply be to explore.

Changing Your Mind Can Be a Sign That You Are Growing

The person you were at 18 will not necessarily want exactly the same things at 25. And the person you are at 25 may see success very differently at 35.

Our priorities change as we gain experience. We discover what gives us energy and what drains it, which environments allow us to thrive, what we value in our relationships and work, and how much importance we want to place on things such as money, status, flexibility, purpose, wellbeing or time.

Changing your mind in response to that information isn't inconsistency, it is self-awareness. Growth would be rather strange if we expected ourselves to learn, experience and evolve while continuing to make exactly the same choices forever.

Final Thoughts

There is nothing wrong with committing wholeheartedly to something you have chosen, and there is enormous value in giving opportunities enough time to discover what they can teach you. But commitment should not become a trap.

You are allowed to look at a decision you once made with complete confidence and realise that it no longer fits the person you have become. You are allowed to decide that the goal you once worked towards isn't actually the goal you want anymore. You are allowed to use new information, new experiences and a deeper understanding of yourself to make a different choice. And you don't need to describe the previous chapter as a mistake in order to justify beginning another one.

Sometimes changing your mind isn't about going backwards at all, it is simply recognising that you are ready to move in a different direction.